Construction Worker.... TBA...

So I didn't wanna go any further with this one simply because its
something im dealing with.... so how could I end it?

"'Construction Worker"'

you would think I was in construction
The way I masterfully mold the plaster
Between bricks to hold up a shield so thick
I should never feel pain
But if these walls could talk
You'd see im insane
Within the confines of my fort
And no one to blame
I Seek sunshines approval
To find self inflicted rain
I close the doors to walls so tall
As to not feel disappointment at all
yet again and again
walls I believe to be a friend
Begin to close in and fall
Like drawls on a whore
And like dressers with out a drawer
These walls aren't protecting me anymore
Because this guard that I horde
around is leaving me sore
Such as an illness without a cure
Im hurting myself internally
But pretending im okay is worse
Externally hand crafted excellence
Internal viral pestilence
A shell once created to help
Is now nursing my curse

JaeDaKid....

Est. 072490

Its 1am so tech. My bday was yesterday the 24th

Im so ready for change this time
I have to make things better for me
Im allowing my perfect imperfections
Get the best of me

Like who else sabotages their own Bday
Me only me.......
I get my hopes so high up and then allow
Them to rapidly crash and burn
Im sick to my stomach with the way im living
And I just have to make it better
Because this life I lead is not worth anything
And I've become so comfortable just getting by
And I think that's the issue in itself and if I could
Just change that it could get better.....

I kant remember the last time I've even fought
For something and im just tired of giving up
And backsliding into old habits
im constantly holding bills but im finally ready to make
Change.... so the rest of the summer im gonna take the time
To really cleanse my soul kuz its aching for something more
And its time I gave it what it's needing

Sincerely JaeDaKid

Still Hungry By Sam Sparro

Because of a recommendation
made by a good friend of mine

http://misterbrandonsaysgo.blogspot.com/

I decided to listen to Sam Sparro's self titled Debut album
Which I really liked surprisingly

But in particular I fell for his song "Still Hungry"
It really spoke to me and to what I've been goin through
Recently....

I've never wanted to do anything the way I've wanted this... and that
only means im gonna have to fight for it... its gonna be hard and I've
never had to fight for anything but this is worth it... dance is the
only thing I KNOW how to do and have a passion for, an actual
passion.... I mean id much rather struggle and starve doin something I
love than prosper and being miserable doing something I loathe.....
So the rest of my summer will continue to be about bettering me cuz im
not where I should be...... Hungrily I will do whatever is necessary to
get me to the next level! KNOW THAT

Still Hungry By Sam Sparro

Sincerely,

JaeDaKiD

I've Never Felt So Hurt

By something I love.....

I try so hard to see that things kan change or that I kan be the one to
change them.... but iit hurts to know ill never work perfessionally
because of my appearance..... I've been over looked and underestimated
all my life because of this and today was the 1st reminder I've had in a
long while....... I mean I wouldn't even trip so hard if some of the
people chosen were better than me..... and some were... but there were
some people chosen for a look

I don't wanna seem bitter its just I feel for so long I feel like I've
worked twice is hard to get half as far sometimes.... and that makes it
worse.....

Ill live

Currently: Regathering My Spirits

Sincerely

JaeDaKid

Update My Life

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...................




sorry for the delay my phones internet no longer allows me to sign in lol
but since im back in L.A. for a few days i figured id write.....
wellp

Im Auditioning @ Disney tomorrow with Mario
i wouldnt really be tripping but like a week or two ago
i fucked up my back running -_-
so i havent danced since and im still having some pain
so i dont know how itll go but ill give to the best of my ability.......




as for me nothings REALLY been going on
just been enjoying my break, MAJORLY
Doing alot of the going out smoking in drinkin
which deserves another -_-
EX: since the 4th of july ive been home like 3 FULL
days if that which is completely Ridic.
and it wouldve been less had ive gone out
tonight and yesterday so But a bitch was tired
so i had to flake
plus i think an audition is way more important
and i need that rest
to look like im atleast performing with
some sort of decency LMAAAAAOOOOoo

"Yeaaaahhh Baaaaby" TIny



Whats in store for this week?
possibly Harry Potter
DON'T JUDGE ME

next week ill be 19 which will feel no diff from18 -_-
but the money and gifts will feel excellent


Plans for Next Semester Considering
if i should take academics kuz i kinda dont want to
if i do im only doing tues/thurs at mission


wellp as far as i kan think thats pretty much
all the random ness i have stored at this time
but soon as i have anything else ill be sure to
update my dreary life again lmao....

sincerely

JaeDaKid..... : lol

Lifes Journey[unedited]

So I try to stay updating yall.... its hard lol
But there's this boy lol..... [confessions of a "Rule"]
So this poem was inspired by him or my situation with him
Or lack there of -__-

At a loss for words I am
Im back were I began
Starting over on that old path
The road to desperation?
Nah!!! a different destination
One that of a hopeless romantic.
With optimism in mind
I carry my knapsack of bad baggage
That causes me to back track
To bad lands and terrible habits.
Falling for anything I trip
Get bruised and scratches
That never seal, unhealable wounds
That leave me lost and confused
Until I find my self back at the entrance.
Distant from love,
And far from my mission
But I continue back down the path
Hoping to find that I
Kan make we
Because solo just aint my thing
Or perhaps was and just played out.
Mouth dried like prunes or raisins
My heart hasn't seen sun in days
And is dying from dehydration
But I keep pushing forth
As if deprivation hasn't set in.
attempting to reach an exit of some sort
I begin unloading the luggage on my back
That was resting so comfortably
Realizing all that shit was no comfort to me
Just making the already difficult
Impossible to reach.
looking off into the end of the tunnel
I see light as I juggle the task
Of releasing unneeded ways of my past
Making it easier to grasp the unimaginable.
Although I've come a long way
yet am I to arrive
But at least im getting farther
And this journey is getting harder
Halfway dead heart in hand
but I still stand alive......

By JaeDaKid

Chillin in Van Nuys

so im currently spending the night at my aunts house with tierrah and the new baby...

i keep hearing "New York" screaming in the backround and i find it rather disturbing lmaooo

christian has been disturbing my life lmaoooo

http://chrishumros.blogspot.com/

hes ridiculous.... thats prob. why hes the homie though.....

so as life goes on i just breeze through it.... i know i should be seizing the day but a bitch is tired..... illl get back on track somewhere in life lol

and although those pics have nothing to do with the post i just felt that theyd be a refreshing addition to it lol

sorry the life of JaeDaKid Is ultra RANDOM

......wellp im out till next time peace love and all things dance

...Sincerely i,

....Jaedakid.....

Its Been too long....

Yesterday was Uyi's Bday dinner it was koo.... then after I got stupid
blown w/ Chris Tierrah Antonio and perisse.... but enough about all
that.... lol

So while I haven't been blogging I've been....
Working on me and so far im loving everything...
From the choices I make in life to my physical
Im pretty content and I wanna strive for more.
Im gonna work as hard as I can to better me and
How I feel about me.....
Hopefully in doing that everything will just follow...
As far as dance I haven't had the time or money
To get into it as I've wanted but hopefully ill be able to.
I've been teaching @ a skool for some coins but
Nothing serious....
I guess im @ a point where im just happy with everything.
Although I don't know what I want for my future
Im happy with the way my present has been going
So praying only good things will be waiting for me

Sincerely,

JaeDaKid

Paris is Burning

"This is White America, and when it come to the minority especially blacks we as a people for the past 400 years are the greatest example of behavioral modification in the history of western civilization. We have had everything taken away from us and yet we have all learned how to survive. That is why in the ballroom circuit it is so obvious that if you've captured the great white way of living or looking dressing or speaking. YOU IS A Marvel! " -Paris is burning





This Documentary is such an inspiration

LAMC.....

so im currently @ Mission Bullshittin.........
im supposed to be getting ready for my final but thats not happening
pretty much just lookin at dance videos etc
while tierrah and perisse type up their paper
which i probably shoulda done but just didnt kare at this point
im awaiting this shit to be over so i can go home
kuz Lamc is mad played out this point.....

well i guess were about to push
so ill post the next time i can.......


dueces

JAEDAKID!!!!!!

Shows Over.... Now what...... Btw Jayden is here

Now that Productions over its as if i dont know what to do with my self

a whole week was just performing and i had so much fun and its done

so i know i havent been here but i am now nothing new to talk about really

but my aunt had lil jayden yes hes here btw lol

so here some super sweet pics lol

P.s. song lyrics of the moment

So glide away on soapy heelsAnd promise not to promise anymoreAnd if you come around againThen I will take, then I will take the chain from off the door

The Chain by Ingrid Michaelson

Clearly.....

Im over this semester..... Reese and Christian completely brought that
to light....... Covin is a clown Ilh....

But truly im over this semester that's all I gotta say for now.....
--
JaeDaKiD is on his come up

Uncomfortable with Me

were now at the end of the semester
ive lost 10 pounds and even though im proud of myself
im still uncomfortable with me.....
its almost sickening but its all that i know
since ive lost my favorite sweater(my safety blanket)
its hard for me to wear fitted shirts by themself
even if i look good in them....
i changed what i was wearing today idk how many times this morning.....
im constantly pullin and tugging and my arms are getting tired...


My girl Jenny and I had a good talk today about how i felt like im selling out
it began with a quote she had in her away
"ive seen people sell weed slower than you sold your soul"

basically i feel like in order to get work
i have to lose weight..... being at that last audition
and me being the only one 6 foot 3 weighing in at a whopping 271
clearly makes me not able to be marketed.....
why hire someone overweight with talent
when you kan hire someone with the look and talent for the same price
i just feel like why should i have to obtain and maintain something ill never be
and that im not sure i even wanna be
but then again i wanna work in this industry
which when you think about it based on looks and appearance
i mean talent is always a great thing but if u can do just enough
your image could be what propels u forward......


i love dance so much but i feel like
im not being takin seriously
and when it comes to dance ive always had to prove myself
kuz i dont fit the "Mold" of a dancer




after talkin to Jenny http://losanjelous.blogspot.com/
i learned everything kan be manipulated
and im gonna find a way to make the mold fit me
kuz im tired of this self consciousness
and this blatant uncomfort


i guess i just gotta work on me internally ass well as externally
untill i found out where i wanna be

Glass Of Kool-aid, Jeff Buckley and a Cold breeze

I haven't posted anything in a while
And although I haven't written anything
Or haven't had anything exciting recently
I still felt the need to post

I just whipped up a beat batch of Kool-aid....
Laying in my bed
while the cool breeze brushes through my window
Listening to Everybody here wants you by Jeff Buckley.....

Wellp im outro
Just wanted to assure you
That I haven't fallen off earth ;)

JaedaKid.....

So I Didn't....

Really get to elaborate on the happenings of the V.N.H.S. Afterparty....
give u the tea quickly...
"I aint even gotta say much.... ima sum it up"

Well it was more like a kickback
They kame w/ the drinks and it was on....
Everybody takes shots
Sour apple smirnoff
And for some reason they feel the need to give me
The biggest shot glass but it was all good.....
Quinn has her shot and starts running around and dancing and shit it was
all good......
So me and maya were sitting together
(I think she was in my lap)
When we hear "aaaaaaahhh!!!!!"
We look over and quinn has her head down
And Joe goes "it Burns....."
So we were like wtf....
Apparently Quinn threw up in his face....
"My Eyes..... My Eyes...!!!"
Hahaahhahahhah
So Maya starts Dieing laughing and I follow
Then before we know Joseph drank 15 shots or so
And was sloppy drunk
He Kissed me and I believe Mishy
Were Maya Found it necessary to insist He's bi when he's drunk.......
(he kissed a girl and he liked it! Lmao)
Then Jenny wanted to give us some "Pizza"
So she went and prepared it
I only planned on taking a slice
Considering I was already drinking.....
But I ended up taking 3
So I was gone....
Then Christine kept grunting and making funny faces
The night was just comedy
Maya is like the Ultimate Enhancer

Although other funny things happened
I felt those were the only ones of importance
Wellp I gotta go kuz im late for class as it is
But as my life and issues around it progress
Ill continue to keep you updated

Dueces
Words of JaeDaKid

Yesterday All Together Now

So the day began w/ the auditions
The Jazz I bombed miserably.... lmao

Then after we were kut..... miiko treated me and jackie
to a meal @ Islands where we seen Lena :)
Once we left we Witnessed a Car accident....
We went back to the hip hop audition
Where I slayed.....
And although I wasn't chosen
it was nice to see what I needed to work up to
I feel that I don't have far to go
And I might possibly have to work on my image -__-

After that I went home and got ready for VNHS dance show
Great show then the after Party where I got fucked up

Tonight Was fun

So the costumes came together quite nicely
minus the hat
I Had so much fun

Kinda disappointed that it was a latin Hispanic event,
Nothing against Hispanic trannies. I was just hoping for something a bit
more diverse......I gave to the best of my ability and earned a couple
of coins in the process....

I was glad I met some new people Michael, Ryan, and Josh they're fucking
hilarious.... and ofcourse always see old friends like Miss Gia/Ryan and
not to mention Peaches who gave an oh to beat performance ......

Talked to a sexy latin dancer named abraham who I totally wanted to take
down.... he was just a touch to attractive... I forgot how much fun the
arena can be so a visit is in order.....

Well its 2:50am and im currently on the bus almost home so that's
prettymuch my night.... very exciting

Goodnight Peeps

Textbook Relationship

U leave me in your locker
Like a raggedy ass text book
I don't ever see the moonlight
But every now and then I get an hour period
Were you flip through my pages during the day
im slammed against desks
Left branded and tagged
handed down to friends
Never handled w/ care
My Pages are torn
But you kant return me till the end of the semester
While I fester with scorn
My so called education pours out on to the ground
Because your floored by the latest subject
Thirsting to take the new class
but can't even pass this one
You should be takin me seriously
See im the prerequisite
That u can't further progress
Without getting me clearly
But its okay this semester is almost at an end
Nearly
And I could give a fuck whether you fail me
U never did your homework
Never read assigned chapters fully
Just scanned through them
Like you could fool me
Like generic info could ever truly
Get you through the course
But since u wanna be lazy
Ill let my assessments play you like a whore
And when you flunk after failing my final test
Feel Free to check off your initials
before exiting the classroom door

By JaeDaKiD

Virginity, At All Costs

First off........
I didn't even take the class but okay lmao

I am now at a point of desperation.....
Im an 18 yo virgin... and at all costs im ready
To give up this charade.... at first it was all cute and shit
Now its like okay enough is enough
Im turned on by most anything and its becoming
Slightly disturbing.....
I just need to get laid to ease this physical tension
Its ridiculous
But even if I had the chance I still wouldn't give it up
So its like why am I complaining

Im so disappointing
I just don't even know
What to do w/ myself anymore
Aaaaaahhhhhhh

signed a lost cause
JaeDaKiD............

An Early Morning Mess

First Off.....
I realized I was wrong

But anywhoo this is the story
I read miikos text wrong
And thought @ 10am today was Brian Friedmans master Class
It wasn't!
Turns out it was the audition for Hairspray on a Cruise
Since I was there I figured id just do it anyway.....
Terrible lmao
First off im not a jazz dancer if the combo isn't broken down
Im not gonna have it....
And since it was taught fast I didn't have a chance
Got cut in the first round hahahaahah
But I will say it was a good experience for my 1st audition
Although I looked a mess lmao.....
Plus there was way worse than me there.....

But anyways tonight around 630
Ill attempt to take the Brian Friedman Master Class
Hopefully Christine will go.....

Next saturday im actually planning for an audition
for DDO Artist Agency
Im gonna give to the best of my ability
hopefully they'll like me

Wish Me Luck.......