Construction Worker.... TBA...

So I didn't wanna go any further with this one simply because its
something im dealing with.... so how could I end it?

"'Construction Worker"'

you would think I was in construction
The way I masterfully mold the plaster
Between bricks to hold up a shield so thick
I should never feel pain
But if these walls could talk
You'd see im insane
Within the confines of my fort
And no one to blame
I Seek sunshines approval
To find self inflicted rain
I close the doors to walls so tall
As to not feel disappointment at all
yet again and again
walls I believe to be a friend
Begin to close in and fall
Like drawls on a whore
And like dressers with out a drawer
These walls aren't protecting me anymore
Because this guard that I horde
around is leaving me sore
Such as an illness without a cure
Im hurting myself internally
But pretending im okay is worse
Externally hand crafted excellence
Internal viral pestilence
A shell once created to help
Is now nursing my curse

JaeDaKid....

Est. 072490

Its 1am so tech. My bday was yesterday the 24th

Im so ready for change this time
I have to make things better for me
Im allowing my perfect imperfections
Get the best of me

Like who else sabotages their own Bday
Me only me.......
I get my hopes so high up and then allow
Them to rapidly crash and burn
Im sick to my stomach with the way im living
And I just have to make it better
Because this life I lead is not worth anything
And I've become so comfortable just getting by
And I think that's the issue in itself and if I could
Just change that it could get better.....

I kant remember the last time I've even fought
For something and im just tired of giving up
And backsliding into old habits
im constantly holding bills but im finally ready to make
Change.... so the rest of the summer im gonna take the time
To really cleanse my soul kuz its aching for something more
And its time I gave it what it's needing

Sincerely JaeDaKid

Still Hungry By Sam Sparro

Because of a recommendation
made by a good friend of mine

http://misterbrandonsaysgo.blogspot.com/

I decided to listen to Sam Sparro's self titled Debut album
Which I really liked surprisingly

But in particular I fell for his song "Still Hungry"
It really spoke to me and to what I've been goin through
Recently....

I've never wanted to do anything the way I've wanted this... and that
only means im gonna have to fight for it... its gonna be hard and I've
never had to fight for anything but this is worth it... dance is the
only thing I KNOW how to do and have a passion for, an actual
passion.... I mean id much rather struggle and starve doin something I
love than prosper and being miserable doing something I loathe.....
So the rest of my summer will continue to be about bettering me cuz im
not where I should be...... Hungrily I will do whatever is necessary to
get me to the next level! KNOW THAT

Still Hungry By Sam Sparro

Sincerely,

JaeDaKiD

I've Never Felt So Hurt

By something I love.....

I try so hard to see that things kan change or that I kan be the one to
change them.... but iit hurts to know ill never work perfessionally
because of my appearance..... I've been over looked and underestimated
all my life because of this and today was the 1st reminder I've had in a
long while....... I mean I wouldn't even trip so hard if some of the
people chosen were better than me..... and some were... but there were
some people chosen for a look

I don't wanna seem bitter its just I feel for so long I feel like I've
worked twice is hard to get half as far sometimes.... and that makes it
worse.....

Ill live

Currently: Regathering My Spirits

Sincerely

JaeDaKid

Update My Life

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...................




sorry for the delay my phones internet no longer allows me to sign in lol
but since im back in L.A. for a few days i figured id write.....
wellp

Im Auditioning @ Disney tomorrow with Mario
i wouldnt really be tripping but like a week or two ago
i fucked up my back running -_-
so i havent danced since and im still having some pain
so i dont know how itll go but ill give to the best of my ability.......




as for me nothings REALLY been going on
just been enjoying my break, MAJORLY
Doing alot of the going out smoking in drinkin
which deserves another -_-
EX: since the 4th of july ive been home like 3 FULL
days if that which is completely Ridic.
and it wouldve been less had ive gone out
tonight and yesterday so But a bitch was tired
so i had to flake
plus i think an audition is way more important
and i need that rest
to look like im atleast performing with
some sort of decency LMAAAAAOOOOoo

"Yeaaaahhh Baaaaby" TIny



Whats in store for this week?
possibly Harry Potter
DON'T JUDGE ME

next week ill be 19 which will feel no diff from18 -_-
but the money and gifts will feel excellent


Plans for Next Semester Considering
if i should take academics kuz i kinda dont want to
if i do im only doing tues/thurs at mission


wellp as far as i kan think thats pretty much
all the random ness i have stored at this time
but soon as i have anything else ill be sure to
update my dreary life again lmao....

sincerely

JaeDaKid..... : lol

Lifes Journey[unedited]

So I try to stay updating yall.... its hard lol
But there's this boy lol..... [confessions of a "Rule"]
So this poem was inspired by him or my situation with him
Or lack there of -__-

At a loss for words I am
Im back were I began
Starting over on that old path
The road to desperation?
Nah!!! a different destination
One that of a hopeless romantic.
With optimism in mind
I carry my knapsack of bad baggage
That causes me to back track
To bad lands and terrible habits.
Falling for anything I trip
Get bruised and scratches
That never seal, unhealable wounds
That leave me lost and confused
Until I find my self back at the entrance.
Distant from love,
And far from my mission
But I continue back down the path
Hoping to find that I
Kan make we
Because solo just aint my thing
Or perhaps was and just played out.
Mouth dried like prunes or raisins
My heart hasn't seen sun in days
And is dying from dehydration
But I keep pushing forth
As if deprivation hasn't set in.
attempting to reach an exit of some sort
I begin unloading the luggage on my back
That was resting so comfortably
Realizing all that shit was no comfort to me
Just making the already difficult
Impossible to reach.
looking off into the end of the tunnel
I see light as I juggle the task
Of releasing unneeded ways of my past
Making it easier to grasp the unimaginable.
Although I've come a long way
yet am I to arrive
But at least im getting farther
And this journey is getting harder
Halfway dead heart in hand
but I still stand alive......

By JaeDaKid

Chillin in Van Nuys

so im currently spending the night at my aunts house with tierrah and the new baby...

i keep hearing "New York" screaming in the backround and i find it rather disturbing lmaooo

christian has been disturbing my life lmaoooo

http://chrishumros.blogspot.com/

hes ridiculous.... thats prob. why hes the homie though.....

so as life goes on i just breeze through it.... i know i should be seizing the day but a bitch is tired..... illl get back on track somewhere in life lol

and although those pics have nothing to do with the post i just felt that theyd be a refreshing addition to it lol

sorry the life of JaeDaKid Is ultra RANDOM

......wellp im out till next time peace love and all things dance

...Sincerely i,

....Jaedakid.....